Syracuse University owns, or has owned, trademarks on nearly two dozen phrases involving the word “orange.”

The Colorado School of Mines owns “Genius Juice,” which apparently is what people there like to call bottled water.

"Urban Meyer" belongs not to Urban Meyer but to the football coach’s employer, Ohio State University. Mr. Meyer knows this, and has given his consent. (Incidentally, "Urban Meyer Knows" is also owned by Ohio State.)

Pennsylvania State University owned “For the kids,” which it used to put on hats, sweatshirts, rubber wristbands, and other merchandise. It recently abandoned that trademark for some reason.

Trademarking words and phrases is popular among colleges that do a lot of branding, patenting, and merchandising. Lots of the trademarks are standard (“Harvard”). Others, not so much (“Hahvahd”). I looked into the database of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office and pulled out some of the weirder phrases that are, or have been, owned by colleges.

Then I used them to make this poem, because how better to honor the college experience than to compose bad poetry?

R U ready?
The game is on!
Cuse is in the house
Whose house? Our house!
Enthusiasm beyond measure
It sounds like BOOM
BOOLA BOOLA
CHIRP CHIRP
Salute the hoot
Fear the fork
Fear the Roo
Fear the nut
Urban Meyer knows
the power of orange
Real champs wear orange
Wade Wacko
Wavee Dave
Cameron Crazy D
Houndstooth Mafia
Rat pack
Orange pack
Orange pride
GO ORANGE
Don’t trash the neighborhood
Touched by a nurse
Temptation
Bodda getta
INSTABONE
Shrouded probe
Anatomy revealed
Lipo moist
Fish wrap
Cocks
PULSE!!
Howling cow
Experience amazing
I choose to refuse
Avoid the stork
Smart dipstick
Open the freezer
Bring the juice
GENIUS JUICE
Xtreme reading
Drive beyond measure
Hahvahd
Nerd pride
Poli-fluentials
America’s Brightest Orange
Most of us
Still-deciding students
Centsible student
Plancentsibly
Borrowcentsibly
Repaycentsibly
Alert and ready
ARTpreneur
STEMpreneur
CUREpreneur
Get the point
Use the point
Fear the engineers
Redefining what’s possible
ROBOTUNA
MOUSEPUTER
God never thought of this
GOLD PANTS
SCOPE ON A ROPE
#WeCanDoThat
POO-GLOO
for the kids
Cell to sell
The American Weigh
Be Boulder
Why not change the world?
Together we can!
PLANET JANITOR
Yes, it’s possible
Espresso your faith
Ask Dr. Universe
fate of the universe
People who ask, know
asking is the answer
THE BOX DOES NOT EXIST
Zounds!
At week’s end
Whad’ya know?
What would you fight for?
Who ya wit
We all we got
Row the boat
SaltMind
Wise pockets
CompleteLife
FULFILLMENT BEYOND MEASURE
Phil was here
We are Phil